How to be positive is not a catchy question. So, let us ask, “What makes us negative minded? If we can point out some major reasons that make a person negative minded, we might solve the problem of negativity more effectively.
So, let’s jump into some major reasons for being negative.
Your Experiences:
The biggest reason that makes humans different from animals is that we have the cognitive function of learning from experience. This is great because we can grow and improve in life through our life experiences. However, our experiences don’t only teach us good things, they can also make us believe in quite strange ideas.
For instance, one guy said in a group conversation that he doesn’t like the people from one specific country. The guy next to him asked the reason. His answer was that they are arrogant. Then he was asked if he ever visited that country. He replied that he has never been to it, but one of his professors is from that country and he is very arrogant.
You see, one bad experience instilled such a wrong belief in a smart university student. He meets one bad person and without any logical thinking, he begins to believe that millions of people from that country are the same.
We can apply the same idea on one bad action of one person over all his life. For instance, if someone does one bad thing out of fifty, your mind might think negative about that person, even if he did forty-nine things right.
Likewise, one bad experience of certain restaurant, or travelling once in an uncomfortable bus or train, failing in achieving your business goals, can negatively change your belief forever.
It doesn’t mean that we should not use our experiences to learn a good lesson, but at the same time, we should be aware that our experiences can also teach us negative beliefs.
Perceptions:
What do you think about a person when someone talks bad about him? Without any interrogation about the matter, without meeting him, without even knowing him, your mind might declare that the person is guilty.
Just like our own experience teaches us a wrong belief, in the same way, when someone narrates their bad experiences, it can also inject a wrong perception in our mind.
And again, it doesn’t mean that we should stop trusting other people at all but perhaps it’s wrong to believe in something without any investigation. Perhaps it’s injustice to think bad about others just because you heard so.
Suggestion:
Just like your bad life experiences can teach you negative beliefs and your wrong perception can make you think bad about others, in the same way, your mind might build a wrong picture about yourself when other people comment bad about you.
What happens when someone tells you that you are lazy, for instance?
Your act of laziness doesn’t make you a lazy person. Their comment doesn’t make you lazy either. But if you take their words seriously and start to believe that person, it can make you lazy for real.
That’s why they say that you should take other people’s opinions as suggestions. When you hear someone talking bad about you, it’s like they are suggesting something to your mind. And your mind has the power to accept or refuse their suggestion.
So, the next time someone calls you stupid, talk to your mind. Am I stupid or my action was stupid? Or maybe that person misunderstood me?
You see, your bad experiences, the wrong perception, and people’s opinions are not the final judgments. Your life matters, your perception about other people and yourself-image are always subjective. You can change your mind from bad to good and from negative to positive anytime you want.
Let’s summarize this discussion;
Don’t allow your bad experiences to teach you negative beliefs.
Be aware of wrong perception.
And people’s opinion about you are their opinions. Don’t make their bad opinion your opinion.
