What Makes Me A Social Magnet?

For me, it’s a big ask to write about because I’ve never studied sociology. I’m an environmentalist, a teacher, and a researcher at University.  I mostly talk about plants and their habitats.

 My social skills come naturally to me. I hardly notice what I do, so, how can I talk about it? But I also am not one to shy away from a challenge either. 

So, I spent a few weeks studying my behavior and this is what I’ve come to understand about my social magnetism. 

1.  I inquire…

I inquire about people’s interest in their personal and professional life. I know their hobbies, their life goals, and even their family. I know their kids names and sometimes I even remember their children’s ages without having ever met them. 

So whenever I connect with someone over the phone, or face-to-face, we already have a dozen topics we can discuss. 

2. I appreciate people…

It’s easy for me to love people, because I don’t focus on their faults. I don’t judge because it’s not my place to. We all have something to improve upon, or to change, but I believe we all grow and improve over time. So why not notice the ways in which people have already improved?

Everyone has something to cheer for. I see their bright side and help them see their brightness, too. I guess this is the easiest way to create positive vibes and bring smiles to other’s faces.

3. I make people laugh…

I have a natural sense of humor that most people can relate to. I know how to laugh at my own missteps and how to laugh with another person when they joke about theirs. Laughing is what I call “good medicine” and I love to share it. 

I’ve noticed some people are afraid of socializing and getting into awkward situations. I’m not. 

Being awkward is funny. If not at that time, then later, for sure. 

This is why I see every social interaction as a possible opportunity for amusement. This attitude allows me, and the other person who may also be feeling awkward or unsure, the ability to relax and enjoy each other’s company. 

4. I’m a story teller…

Through my self-study I realized that plants aren’t the only things I know about. I often find myself in social situations telling detailed stories of amusing failures and heroic successes. I’ve come to understand how something so simple can connect us as a human race. 

No matter our life experience we all understand success and failure and we seek out stories with these themes to help us understand our own humanity. 

So when I tell someone a story it not only connects me to them through the shared understanding of our own life experiences, but it also helps them. They can see themselves as the hero of the story and feel inspired when the hero overcomes hardship and succeeds.

I also get to hear them share their interesting stories. I add these stories to my mental bookshelf to share with others along the way. Each time I share a story it’s like sharing a string that eventually weaves us all together, connecting us through the power of storytelling. 

I found something quite interesting by narrating stories and that is this: that many of my friends from different circles know each other even though they’ve never met.

5. I connect with people…

Most of the time people reach out to me because they want to talk about the progress they’re making on their goals, to hear some jokes or stories, or to be appreciated and encouraged.

But when I get free time I don’t wait for them to call. I need someone to talk with too. 

So, I make an effort to connect with people instead of waiting around for them to contact me. 

6. I’m happy for others…

I didn’t want to mention this because it seems so obvious, but I thought I should include this so that all my readers can finally know my very secret social magnet tip: I’m happy for others.

I’m happy for other people because their success does not take anything away from me. Everyone I know has achieved success in their professional and personal life through hard work, dedication and sometimes just plain luck. 

Nobody came along and took anything from me to achieve their success, therefore how can I not be happy for them? Their achievements are my inspirations, not my roadblocks.

I’m not in competition with anyone. My life is not a race, it’s a journey and I like my pace.

 I am happy with myself and like my performance in my personal and professional life. I applaud them when they succeed and if they slow down I inquire as to why and then push them to work harder. 

Confession time…

When I was writing this article I thought of many people in my social circle who have these same traits, but on a much bigger level. 

Some are funnier, better at storytelling, and better at reaching out to people. Some of them are better at asking inquiring questions about my personal life, andare better at appreciating and motivating me. 

That’s when I realized that my good habits probably weren’t natural at all, but something I learned from the great people I’ve chosen to surround myself with in my everyday life. 

I must confess all these six traits of my personality are not as good as the originals from whom I learned them from, but I’m trying to improve upon them. And I will probably find more great people who can teach me by example how to be a better person.

With all that said I would like to emphasize that I don’t think being extra social is the answer. We are all different and need different things from our relationships. Some people are more open than others and some like to connect with less people. Both are fine. But for those of you who would like to increase your social circle, you now have my secret recipe on how to do it. 

 Writter Note: Robert is a fictitious character, to understand the personality of a socially active person.