Once upon a time, a hungry lion roamed in search of a hunt. When he reached the apex of the hill he saw a herd of sheep grazing on the plush green grass below.
The lion crawled slowly toward a sleeping sheep, concealing his movement in the tall grass. When the time was right, he jumped, sinking his teeth into the fresh meat, and watching as the other sheep scattered with fear.
He was ready to enjoy his meal when a flash of yellow fur caught his eyes among the white woolen sheep. To his surprise, it was another lion running scared with the sheep. The lion was surprised to see a lion among the sheep and decided to approach his fellow lion when he was alone.
One day he got the opportunity to reach him. The herd lion first tried to run away but stopped when he saw that the lion was not running after him.
It was their first meeting; lion explained that they were the same and that he was not supposed to be afraid of him. The lion showed his claws roared with a big voice and then ran in the front of the other lion, showing off his similar body and tail. He tried his best to convince the herd lion that he was not a sheep, but a lion like him and therefore he could also hunt instead of eating grass.
The herd lion listened and observed. He understood the other lion’s logic, but his mind had doubts and with those doubts, he was not ready to accept what the other lion had said. As usual, he ran away and joined the herd of sheep and began to graze with them.
As the herd lion grazed among the sheep he began to notice things he never had before. The words of the lion began to fill his mind like a dry riverbed filling with water. He looked upon his claws and compared them with the sheep next to him. He examined the running style of the sheep and listened to their bleating and compared it with the stealth and roaring he’d seen displayed by the lion. For the first time, the herd lion began to feel double-minded.
Let’s discuss the confusion of the herd lion and finish the story later.
Why do you think the lion is feeling double-minded?
Why does he not understand his worth of being a lion? And why, does he not understanding his abilities?
He can see that his claws are the same as the other lion, but still he can’t believe that he is one. If he can run, roar and hunt like a real lion. What makes the lion confused?
The answer is quite understandable. He lived his whole life among the sheep and was never able to experience his own hunting abilities.
From a psychological point of view- we are talking about the self-esteem of the lion.
What Is Self-esteem?
Self-esteem has two components, your feeling about your worth plus your feeling about your competence.
What is your value in your eyes and how competent do you feel? How do you see yourself? What is your self-image and how much confidence do you feel in every aspect of life?
Self-esteem is the reason behind our confidence. Higher self-esteem give us the belief that we are valuable and thus worthy enough to achieve anything in life. Lower self-esteem makes us feel less worthy and thus weaken our belief in ourselves.
Most Common Reason Of Low Self-Esteem
Now, If you read an article or study a book to learn about low self-esteem you will always find upbringing or the company you keep as the most common reason.
What are the things you hear about yourself from the people around you?
You are smart, you are wonderful, you are nice, you are lovely, you are kind, you are handsome, you are beautiful, you are crazy, you are lazy, you are stupid, you are wrong.
These are the most common things people say to others and all such compliments or judgmental words affect how we see ourselves. Our mind draws a picture of who we are based on what other people have told us.
If you lived among people who were judgmental most of the time, your mind may draw the same judgmental image that they created for you. You have the potential to hunt and achieve anything you want, but you may doubt your own competence. The lack of confidence comes from your doubts and your doubts come from underestimating your own abilities.
So, how do we solve the problem of low self-esteem?
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem?
The answer is the same as you would suggest to the herd lion. Find your tribe and practice hunting.
Be among those people who will make you feel wonderful and can see and support your abilities. Try new things and see what is possible. Accomplish a hundred tasks and prove to yourself that you are capable of doing and achieving anything you want.
Back To The Story
So, the herd lion was double-minded for a while until one day while drinking water with his herd he caught sight of his reflection next to the sheep while drinking water.
Shocked, he jumped back away from the herd. Realizing for the first time in his life that his face was not the same as those around him. He was instead that fierce lion he had spoken with.
The herd lion was surprised, but happy to realize that he was a real lion. He was no longer double-minded. After that day, he decided to live among his tribe but not knowing where to find them, he stayed with the sheep awhile longer. Until one day, the lion attacked the herd and all the sheep ran away.
He didn’t.
The herd lion didn’t move an inch. The fear he once felt was gone.
He recognized the lion as the same one who had talked with him earlier. The lion could see the change in the herd lion and saw that he was no longer afraid. The herd lion then told his life story; that he was little when he accidentally ended up in the herd of sheep. And since he was so little the sheep never took him seriously. With time, he gradually adopted their culture and sheep accepted him as their family member.
He explained that he was treated like a sheep forever and that’s why he never saw himself as a lion.
The lion welcomed his new friend and took him to his tribe. Where they gave him the opportunities to hunt and after a time he began to live like a real lion.
How To Feel Like A Real Lion?
Most of the time people look at our behavior and judge it as either good or bad.
When we perform well they might clap and when we perform badly they might laugh at us.
What about the rest of the time when we are not performing in front of their eyes? Well, the rest of the time our mind is doing their job of clapping or laughing! We sometimes feel like superman and other times we feel like we can’t do anything. That’s why we sometimes feel confident and other times we feel bad about ourselves.
To some extent, their assessment of us might be true, but our behavior changes all the time. Our performance is different from day to day or event to event. So can one or even a few actions define who or how we are? No.
And, so their judgment or compliment of us will always be incomplete or outright. And since our mind repeats what they say, so our thoughts are also not right all the time.
If you want to see your true self you need to challenge yourself. Give yourself a small task which you think is difficult. Better to choose something which can be finished in a month or two. Take your time and finish it successfully even if it takes six months. When you finish the task ask yourself, “Was it difficult?”The answer will most likely be, “No. It was very easy.”
Then give yourself another challenge and remember that feeling. Your mind may tell you that it is difficult but when you are done you will see that it was much easier than you thought.
Repeat this process until you eventually begin to believe that nothing is difficult it was just your wrong belief.
You can then look back on your achievements and witness your true strength.
Congratulate yourself for all you’ve overcome! Now, you are a real lion who can hunt for things you want and need in life. You can now perhaps try for those things which were impossible for you before.
The Bottom Line:
You see, we are human and are influenced by what people say in our surroundings.
Surely, it is always smart to stay among those who talk positive but at the same time, we do have the power to break this status quo by challenging ourselves.
Our mind is different from the animals, the human mind is the only mind which has the cognitive ability to reason, plan, and learn from experiences. Give your mind a chance to experience your competence.
When you accomplish many difficult tasks you will begin to clap for yourself. When you achieve this mentality you will no longer be influenced by what others say. You will hear them praising you, which is all right. Humbly thank them but know that your worth is based on your own assessment of yourself, not someone else’s.
You have witnessed your own competence and know that it is more powerful than their praise. Imagine how strong you will feel when their claps or laughs are no longer the basis of your self-esteem.
You will value yourself, not because they say it, and not because you thought so, but because you know you are important.
